Funnies
#1 I had a pt last night with pretty severe hemmorrhoids. If you have never seen hemmorrhoids they look like little flesh colored grapes or balloons. She had two rather large flesh bubbles about 3-4cm. I told her they weren't the worst I had ever seen (Yeah, cuz they were the second worst!) and gave her some Tucks pads. When I stopped back into her room she told me she had looked at them. I asked her how she was doing, because it can be pretty upsetting to see something like that, and she said, "they look like Fat Albert's lips are coming out of my rectum!"
It was all I could do not to fall on the floor screaming with laughter right then and there! That has to be the funniest thing a patient ever told me. I stopped in her room tonight and got her permission to post that. Hey-hey-hey! <-read that in a Fat Albert voice.
#2 My good friend called me today to tell me this one. She is still nursing her 26 month old daughter and while getting dressed, her little girl noticed her own nipples and tried to reach her mouth down to nurse on them! I just about peed my pants. I think I have mentioned that my 3.5yr old boy loves to wear his Spiderman costume with the extremely padded muscles, including puffy pectorals will frequently breastfeed both his Wolfie and his baby owl.
Also, I just want the world (or at least the three people who read this) to know that I am very talented at shooting thermometer probe covers in the wastebasket. I take no less than 10 temperatures per shift, so that is like 10,000 per year and I am pretty darn good at shooting them in. I get easy shots all the time, and probably 85% of the tough shots. My suggestion to those who strive for my level of skill is to not move your body any closer to the wastebasket, but really to work on your aim by always trying to hit the trash from wherever you are doing the assessment. Occasionally, some pts will give you a weird look, but it's just that they don't understand how important a skill this is to cultivate. (Not.)
Okay, I will go to bed now before I reveal any more of what a nerd I am.
#1 I had a pt last night with pretty severe hemmorrhoids. If you have never seen hemmorrhoids they look like little flesh colored grapes or balloons. She had two rather large flesh bubbles about 3-4cm. I told her they weren't the worst I had ever seen (Yeah, cuz they were the second worst!) and gave her some Tucks pads. When I stopped back into her room she told me she had looked at them. I asked her how she was doing, because it can be pretty upsetting to see something like that, and she said, "they look like Fat Albert's lips are coming out of my rectum!"
It was all I could do not to fall on the floor screaming with laughter right then and there! That has to be the funniest thing a patient ever told me. I stopped in her room tonight and got her permission to post that. Hey-hey-hey! <-read that in a Fat Albert voice.
#2 My good friend called me today to tell me this one. She is still nursing her 26 month old daughter and while getting dressed, her little girl noticed her own nipples and tried to reach her mouth down to nurse on them! I just about peed my pants. I think I have mentioned that my 3.5yr old boy loves to wear his Spiderman costume with the extremely padded muscles, including puffy pectorals will frequently breastfeed both his Wolfie and his baby owl.
Also, I just want the world (or at least the three people who read this) to know that I am very talented at shooting thermometer probe covers in the wastebasket. I take no less than 10 temperatures per shift, so that is like 10,000 per year and I am pretty darn good at shooting them in. I get easy shots all the time, and probably 85% of the tough shots. My suggestion to those who strive for my level of skill is to not move your body any closer to the wastebasket, but really to work on your aim by always trying to hit the trash from wherever you are doing the assessment. Occasionally, some pts will give you a weird look, but it's just that they don't understand how important a skill this is to cultivate. (Not.)
Okay, I will go to bed now before I reveal any more of what a nerd I am.
posted by KatyM @ 10:44 PM
3 Comments:
At 9:34 AM,
Kate said…
thanks Katy. I REALLY needed that laugh.
At 7:27 PM,
Anne said…
There are MANY reasons to cultivate that skill, Katy. Not the least of which is that we as nurses should be constantly working to improve our clinical skills. It's also pretty nice to look that proficient at doing anything.
At 9:28 AM,
KatyM said…
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