Zeff & More Unschooling
My middle kid is such a special guy. It is not always easy to know what he is learning as he is completely unmotivated by external praise and encouragement. He is the opposite of me in this regard and it has taken a little more thought and observation to learn how to help this kid learn without turning him off.
We have not begun formal school although I have given him tracing pages, mazes and other preschool worksheets at his request. He has always enjoyed hearing stories but lately can sit through longer ones with fewer or no pictures. I think listening to books on tape in the car has helped with this.
I have not found it as easy to teach letters and counting to him because of his personality. Joss loved to show off what she had learned and was motivated to learn more so she could show off more, but that is not Z's deal AT ALL. In fact, I have to be very careful to keep any praise low-key so I don't embarrass him and scare him off letters. (Like I did with potty training: He went, I clapped and said hooray, he ran away and refused to try again for six months.)
He is also very independent and stubborn, and will stick with an activity of his own choosing much longer than anything I try to set up for him.
Because I have concerns about boys being introduced too early to academics, leading to behavior and learning problems, I have tried to err on the side of doing "school" later than early. This mixed with the neglect inherent to all kids after the first one, has led to me not thinking he had all his letter names down as he approached his fourth birthday.
So imagine how far my jaw dropped when I realized his older cousin is teaching him to read. I am not saying he could do it again, but with his cousin by his side, helping him sound out each word, he was reading an online phonics reader.
After he read it he was so thrilled and excited with himself that he spontaneously grabbed my cheeks and kissed me and hugged his cousin. I was stunned but have been noticing that he has been doing more than guessing on some of our electronic alphabet toys. He has also been really enjoying the alphabet page at starfall. I also hear him singing along with the phonics jingles on the phonics story page. So, this is my assessment: he is learning 75% on his own, with 20% help from Malcolm and Jossy and 5% from me.
Do you ever feel like the universe is speaking to you? I think we are destined to be unschoolers. We are having lovely days, by the way. Little thoughts will bubble up in me, "Is J learning what she is supposed to be learning in K/1st grade?" and this strengthening voice replies, "She is learning what she wants to learn. She is learning how to learn and to love to learn. What is it K and 1st graders are SUPPOSED to learn? Who says so? Why?" Really, who cares if we learn all about our city's history and about the river that is 8 blocks from our house instead of about the pilgrims. Maybe we'll learn about the pilgrims later. Maybe we won't. Seems to me that I have found out the little that I remember about pilgrims from school is now thought to be wrong. (Guess that big Thanksgiving celebration wasn't the friendly feast that they told us it was.)
We might not get to a lengthy discussion of the different seasons with a poster for each, but we do go to our community farm several times a season and see the crops from planting to harvest. My kids help plant vegetables, watch them grow, help weed and care for them and help harvest them. Which memory is more useful and which one is retained better?
Wow. That's the end of my unschooling manifesto for today. Stay tuned for more as I undergo the annoying process of becoming a convert to a new belief system. At least I will quit lecturing people about how awesome it is to work out.